thoughts

Recently I’ve been intermittently annoyed at the government. I mean what left-leaning young social sciences student isn’t these days, but recently it’s been this deep passionate annoyance at the inability of the government to say or do anything meaningful about child poverty in New Zealand . Any of you who know me will know right now I’m doing a masters degree in Anthropology on child dental health in Northland and wider New Zealand. ‘What does this have to do with your intro of child poverty?’ you may ask. Well, everything. And that’s why I’m so goddamn annoyed. Poverty makes everything suck. I mean, it is poverty right? But the thing is, poverty isn’t just the terrible experience of food insecurity, poor housing (or worse, no housing) and being unable to upkeep the daily necessities of modern life such as heating and shoes in winter or a functioning car. It also severely impacts dental health outcomes for children. It severely impacts so many places that seem, arguably, remo...

I feel frustrated about how women feel they have to portray themselves. Recently I read all the responses to a ‘get to know me’ questionnaire for a play. The cast was probably 90% female, and all the answers were so self-depreciating. Are you a revenger or a tragedy? Everyone said tragedy. It's not just in drama. Far too often do I hear women in all fields describe themselves as being a constant ‘hot mess’. We make our work seem not important, and emphasise how our lives are terrible and never perfect. What does this say about us, to let all these amazing and talented people think that about themselves? These are our friends and sisters and girlfriends and WHATEVER – just people! The way that women are conditioned to never think THAT highly of themselves in terms of their talents and abilities, it’s just so depressing and frustrating to me. This extends further than ‘talents’ in the sense of academic knowledge or tangible skills, but it’s also about how we see ourselve...

I relapsed into smoking recently. Well, relapsing makes it sound like a disease. My control of five months crumbled under two weeks of intense emotional pressure. And it's been less than 24 hours after the end of my last pack, and I'm sitting here contemplating how to justify easing back into a smoke free life instead of just going back to not smoking like I was three weeks ago. I first tried smoking when I was in high school. It was on holiday with some kids a few years older than me that I'd been friends with for a few years. They offered me a rollie, and being the badass that I was I accepted. I’d already tried drinking with them the year before, so why not smoking this year. I was open to life. This turned into me being someone who smoked as part of my identity. I may have not been popular at school, but at least I could cultivate a mystique about myself that gave me social status beyond my middling normalcy. I wasn’t 'gross' by smoking on the regular, ...