It's time to say goodbye
Well guys, it's time. This blog post will be the last fuelled by a day filled with nothing and extreme boredom. Because today is my last day at work. Last week I had my final classes. The time has arrived; leaving Japan. It's that time for overarching reflection, as things I will never do again pass me by, and I pack up my life in Japan both physically and emotionally. I have many emotions about how this past year has gone, about my experiences. But also it's time to look to the future, a space and time that is completely different to that I am existing in now. What will the future be?
The biggest last, for sure, is this is my last day at work. My purpose for coming here. Being an Assistant Language Teacher at a rural Japanese Junior High School. This past week, so many lasts have come and gone. Some strange, some sad, some glad. I will never have to say the standard greetings to whatever class I'm teaching followed by the same stock questions ever again. Good morning, How are you today? What's the date today? And what's the day? How's the weather? And finally, what time is it? Never again. I will never have to deal with rambunctious kids who I can't communicate with. I will (hopefully) never have to sit at a desk messing around doing nothing important for several days in a row because there's no use for me, but I still have to be there. But, I also won't see the kids who loved English, who greeted me so energetically, who really tried, again. I won't see the teachers who I worked with, laughed with, tried to speak terrible Japanese with, again. Hopefully I will never sit at such a low desk again.
How do I feel? I have not cried yet. I feel bruised, and I've been having many terrible sleeps from a combination of a too soft bed and stress. I feel like my teeth may have moved from the amount of teeth grinding I've been doing when I sleep. I wake up and my jaw aches. Honestly I may come back to New Zealand with little stumps for teeth at this rate. As a completely derailed sidenote, I remember once my dentist telling me when I once presented with this issue to 'just relax' and 'stop drinking coffee'. Firstly, I can't 'just relax', the stuff I'm stressed about doesn't just dissipate if I repeat 'just relax' three times fast. Secondly, just no. I will not stop drinking coffee. I need my fancy hot bean juice for happiness. So yeah, no tears but stumpy teeth. My friend keeps telling me that one of these days, something small and stupid will set me off and I'll just break down and the weight of a thousand emotions I've kept locked up inside me will come crashing down. Stumpy toothed Emily lying on the floor in a puddle of tears over a burnt piece of toast or something. I'll post pics.
What's next? Next week I will spend a few hazy days in Kyoto waiting out the end of my contract, and then once I can get that sweet tourist visa, will promptly be purchasing a JR pass and hurling myself around the country for 2 weeks on very fast bullet trains. I'll be off to Hiroshima, Sendai, Sapporo, Hakodate, then finally my dream city Tokyo. I keep imagining that trip, the glide of the shinkansen through Japan, a victory lap of sorts. I imagine myself at Narita airport, handing over my passport and checking in my luggage. I imagine myself dozing on and off on the 10-hour night flight to Auckland, arriving bleary eyed in the bright winter morning. I imagine myself as I hastily moving through to baggage claim, hearing the soundtrack of waves and native birds as I walk along the travelator. I will tear up, and finally cry with relief as I pass through the carved welcome gate, a powhiri playing on loop. I'll pass through the frosted automatic doors after biosecurity and see my parents, and be overcome with emotion. I am so ready to come home. I am so ready for my bed, my friends, the coffee, the vogels, hummus, cheese. To speak English.
But what's even more next? Post-20th of August. What the heck am I doing after? Well, my association to Japan in a corporeal sense will have come to an end. I will move to Wellington, change, do a different job, explore my life. Japan is almost like the end of a volume of my life. It represents the start of something new. What it will entail entirely, I am unsure. I feel positive, and ready to emerge from my chrysalis as a completely different bug, formed from the old. Emily Volume II: a whole different bug.
But this isn't the end of the blog posts, don't you worry. I have so many feelings, experiences and cries for help disguised as sarcastic quips to publish from my time in Japan. I've been thinking a lot about my time here, but as I said before, I have been through the wringer emotionally. I am wounded, and I don't want to share those open wounds in case I say something dumb. I'm a believer in 'show your scars, not your wounds' when publishing on the internet. Published with a perspective, a calm, hindsight. I can be completely honest here and say right now I am stressed, anxious, a bit mad, and am just wanting to get on with it. But as to the details, I will be publishing the why later.
It will be called 'Reflections from Japan', or something similar; a series of personal essays on various topics and experiences from my time in Japan. I want to get deep, and share my experiences. What was I actually doing here? How was my life? I want to create something bigger, long-term, creative. That is my wish for the me back in New Zealand; to focus on more personal, creative projects. And this is going to be my first. I mean, maybe you don't care, but honestly I think my experience living here is pretty weird and interesting so you totally should care (and read).
So until next time, the next blog, on a topic yet undecided, about Japan, from New Zealand. 本当にありがとうございました。日本の経験が忘れることができません。Honestly, thank you so much. I will never forget my experience in Japan. And in the immortal words of Suzy Cato, "See you see you later, it's time to say goodbye. See you See you later, I've really got to fly. So see you see you later, it's time for us to end. See you see you later, I'll be back again."
Sayonara Japan, and Kia Ora Aotearoa.
For sarcastic quips until I do start writing again you can follow my twitter and I also post pretty pas-ag pics on my instagram story when I feel like it.
The biggest last, for sure, is this is my last day at work. My purpose for coming here. Being an Assistant Language Teacher at a rural Japanese Junior High School. This past week, so many lasts have come and gone. Some strange, some sad, some glad. I will never have to say the standard greetings to whatever class I'm teaching followed by the same stock questions ever again. Good morning, How are you today? What's the date today? And what's the day? How's the weather? And finally, what time is it? Never again. I will never have to deal with rambunctious kids who I can't communicate with. I will (hopefully) never have to sit at a desk messing around doing nothing important for several days in a row because there's no use for me, but I still have to be there. But, I also won't see the kids who loved English, who greeted me so energetically, who really tried, again. I won't see the teachers who I worked with, laughed with, tried to speak terrible Japanese with, again. Hopefully I will never sit at such a low desk again.
 |
| Bye, Kyoto |
How do I feel? I have not cried yet. I feel bruised, and I've been having many terrible sleeps from a combination of a too soft bed and stress. I feel like my teeth may have moved from the amount of teeth grinding I've been doing when I sleep. I wake up and my jaw aches. Honestly I may come back to New Zealand with little stumps for teeth at this rate. As a completely derailed sidenote, I remember once my dentist telling me when I once presented with this issue to 'just relax' and 'stop drinking coffee'. Firstly, I can't 'just relax', the stuff I'm stressed about doesn't just dissipate if I repeat 'just relax' three times fast. Secondly, just no. I will not stop drinking coffee. I need my fancy hot bean juice for happiness. So yeah, no tears but stumpy teeth. My friend keeps telling me that one of these days, something small and stupid will set me off and I'll just break down and the weight of a thousand emotions I've kept locked up inside me will come crashing down. Stumpy toothed Emily lying on the floor in a puddle of tears over a burnt piece of toast or something. I'll post pics.
What's next? Next week I will spend a few hazy days in Kyoto waiting out the end of my contract, and then once I can get that sweet tourist visa, will promptly be purchasing a JR pass and hurling myself around the country for 2 weeks on very fast bullet trains. I'll be off to Hiroshima, Sendai, Sapporo, Hakodate, then finally my dream city Tokyo. I keep imagining that trip, the glide of the shinkansen through Japan, a victory lap of sorts. I imagine myself at Narita airport, handing over my passport and checking in my luggage. I imagine myself dozing on and off on the 10-hour night flight to Auckland, arriving bleary eyed in the bright winter morning. I imagine myself as I hastily moving through to baggage claim, hearing the soundtrack of waves and native birds as I walk along the travelator. I will tear up, and finally cry with relief as I pass through the carved welcome gate, a powhiri playing on loop. I'll pass through the frosted automatic doors after biosecurity and see my parents, and be overcome with emotion. I am so ready to come home. I am so ready for my bed, my friends, the coffee, the vogels, hummus, cheese. To speak English.
 |
| Bye, La Collina |
But what's even more next? Post-20th of August. What the heck am I doing after? Well, my association to Japan in a corporeal sense will have come to an end. I will move to Wellington, change, do a different job, explore my life. Japan is almost like the end of a volume of my life. It represents the start of something new. What it will entail entirely, I am unsure. I feel positive, and ready to emerge from my chrysalis as a completely different bug, formed from the old. Emily Volume II: a whole different bug.
But this isn't the end of the blog posts, don't you worry. I have so many feelings, experiences and cries for help disguised as sarcastic quips to publish from my time in Japan. I've been thinking a lot about my time here, but as I said before, I have been through the wringer emotionally. I am wounded, and I don't want to share those open wounds in case I say something dumb. I'm a believer in 'show your scars, not your wounds' when publishing on the internet. Published with a perspective, a calm, hindsight. I can be completely honest here and say right now I am stressed, anxious, a bit mad, and am just wanting to get on with it. But as to the details, I will be publishing the why later.
It will be called 'Reflections from Japan', or something similar; a series of personal essays on various topics and experiences from my time in Japan. I want to get deep, and share my experiences. What was I actually doing here? How was my life? I want to create something bigger, long-term, creative. That is my wish for the me back in New Zealand; to focus on more personal, creative projects. And this is going to be my first. I mean, maybe you don't care, but honestly I think my experience living here is pretty weird and interesting so you totally should care (and read).
 |
| Bye, Biwa |
So until next time, the next blog, on a topic yet undecided, about Japan, from New Zealand. 本当にありがとうございました。日本の経験が忘れることができません。Honestly, thank you so much. I will never forget my experience in Japan. And in the immortal words of Suzy Cato, "See you see you later, it's time to say goodbye. See you See you later, I've really got to fly. So see you see you later, it's time for us to end. See you see you later, I'll be back again."
Sayonara Japan, and Kia Ora Aotearoa.
For sarcastic quips until I do start writing again you can follow my twitter and I also post pretty pas-ag pics on my instagram story when I feel like it.
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