thoughts

Every so often, I stumble across ads on social media by the Health Promotion Agency targeting young women warning them not to drink if they think they might be pregnant. You may have seen them - the account is called 'Don't know? Don't Drink' and have appeared to me on Facebook and Instagram as sponsored content. For some reason, these ads make me feel uncomfortable; I can't quite seem to put my finger on it, but every time they come up I feel uneasy and a little bit frustrated at their continued existence. Essentially, the whole campaign is really hinged on the idea of not drinking if you don't know if you're pregnant. Being a cis-woman, honestly I can tell you that until that period arrives, I don't know 100% for certain if I am pregnant. Heck, I don't even 100% know WHEN I get my period. We're all aware of that one friend of a friend who continued getting periods and never showed the whole of her pregnancy until one day SURPRISE she have a b...

Being young pulls you in so many different directions. What should I be doing, what is my ‘purpose’, how do I get there? Searching out for this passion that we’re supposed to have for something. I’ve been thinking about this a lot recently, trying to live my ‘best life’ and squeezing all these things I need to do into what seems like a tiny amount of time. But it never feels like I get the things I want to do done, what is ‘squeezed in’ seems unimportant and distracts me from my real emotions. My job is basic and unrelated to what I want. I finished my MA last year, and it’s really getting to the point that I feel depressed and like a failure because I’m not more aggressively following my passions. ‘I should be writing more, doing more volunteer work. I should be more outspoken, and I should go to more protests and community meetings. What have you done? Deleted the facebook app? Wow /s.’ Let’s just ignore the fact that I have a job lined up living somewhere I want to live, in Ja...

Don’t get me wrong, I love my friends and family and the memories of Auckland, but our infrastructure is slowly sucking my will to live. Now I know, you’ve heard this sentiment one thousand times over this year. It’s an election year; everything that is wrong gets dredged up, and we’re all reminded of how much everything is an issue. But it’s so goddamn frustrating how there has been a lack of any meaningful change in how the city is planned. The way that regional and central government wants to deal with Auckland’s housing and transport issues is laughable. Lack of housing? Build settlements in Kumeu and Pokeno! Because that won’t further burden the snail race of the southern motorway. Need better train systems? Build a loop around the CBD, that will shut them up! There are so many things that I think Auckland needs to prevent it from seriously imploding within the next decade. We need to accept that we must build up and increase our housing density (sorry central Aucklanders...

This has been brewing in my mind for some time now, and what better time to share than Waitangi weekend. I am shocked, like so many others, at the recent (and past, let's not forget his behaviour on the campaign trail and even before) actions of the US president. Every morning I wake up and read the news, and for the past week I keep thinking to myself as the BBC news loads 'what does Donald Trump have in store for me today?' I am absolutely disgusted by his rhetoric, the idea of "alternative facts", the absolutely abhorrent refugee and migrant executive order. But then I think, 'well I'm in New Zealand. My life goes on.' And sure, that's true for me in my own little bubble. But then it also is completely false, because like it or not, what the US does has severe implications for the rest of the world. The mere event of his election gives credence to those in New Zealand who hold similar beliefs, an affirmation that the most powerful country in...

Recently I’ve been intermittently annoyed at the government. I mean what left-leaning young social sciences student isn’t these days, but recently it’s been this deep passionate annoyance at the inability of the government to say or do anything meaningful about child poverty in New Zealand . Any of you who know me will know right now I’m doing a masters degree in Anthropology on child dental health in Northland and wider New Zealand. ‘What does this have to do with your intro of child poverty?’ you may ask. Well, everything. And that’s why I’m so goddamn annoyed. Poverty makes everything suck. I mean, it is poverty right? But the thing is, poverty isn’t just the terrible experience of food insecurity, poor housing (or worse, no housing) and being unable to upkeep the daily necessities of modern life such as heating and shoes in winter or a functioning car. It also severely impacts dental health outcomes for children. It severely impacts so many places that seem, arguably, remo...

I feel frustrated about how women feel they have to portray themselves. Recently I read all the responses to a ‘get to know me’ questionnaire for a play. The cast was probably 90% female, and all the answers were so self-depreciating. Are you a revenger or a tragedy? Everyone said tragedy. It's not just in drama. Far too often do I hear women in all fields describe themselves as being a constant ‘hot mess’. We make our work seem not important, and emphasise how our lives are terrible and never perfect. What does this say about us, to let all these amazing and talented people think that about themselves? These are our friends and sisters and girlfriends and WHATEVER – just people! The way that women are conditioned to never think THAT highly of themselves in terms of their talents and abilities, it’s just so depressing and frustrating to me. This extends further than ‘talents’ in the sense of academic knowledge or tangible skills, but it’s also about how we see ourselve...

I relapsed into smoking recently. Well, relapsing makes it sound like a disease. My control of five months crumbled under two weeks of intense emotional pressure. And it's been less than 24 hours after the end of my last pack, and I'm sitting here contemplating how to justify easing back into a smoke free life instead of just going back to not smoking like I was three weeks ago. I first tried smoking when I was in high school. It was on holiday with some kids a few years older than me that I'd been friends with for a few years. They offered me a rollie, and being the badass that I was I accepted. I’d already tried drinking with them the year before, so why not smoking this year. I was open to life. This turned into me being someone who smoked as part of my identity. I may have not been popular at school, but at least I could cultivate a mystique about myself that gave me social status beyond my middling normalcy. I wasn’t 'gross' by smoking on the regular, ...